Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Chapter 10

In the blog of Mark Reads Harry Potter, SHIT GETS REAL AND You ARE NOT PREPARED! Intrigued? Then information technology'south fourth dimension for Mark to read Harry Potter.

After suffering through Twilight, Mark decided to commence on the projection of reading Harry Potter (which they'd never read before) and review it on their blog ane chapter at a time and even though at the start they were non quite sold at present information technology's REAL HARD because THIS Series IS SO Amazing AND ADDICTIVE AND J. K. ROWLING IS A FUCKING GENIUS! they WAS Non PREPARED FOR THIS SHIT! CHECK It OUT Correct Now!

The result was an epic, five-month journey through all vii books of the Harry Potter series, finishing the series on October 30th, 2010. they are now re-reading the series.

Run into also Marking Reads Twilight. Mark is also now branching into other series, including Firefly, The Hunger Games and Doctor Who. Check them out!

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Tropes include:

• Aborted Arc: Mark gave upwards reading My Immortal after a rape joke in Chapter 20.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Before their review of Goblet of Fire Chapter ten, Mark says "There's also a bully deal of commentary on slavery, oppression, privilege, and why Percy is so goddamn abrasive."
• Author Catchphrase:
  • "Shit gets real" and "you are/I am not prepared", the latter having been started past their followers during their Twilight blog.
  • Their friend Kasper coined the phrase, "Haters, please familiarize yourself with the left-hand evacuation process", which Marker now uses regularly.
  • They eat potato babies because they is a godless sodomite. Which is now a gif. More often than not it's just the murphy babies that people quote.
  • They begin all their reviews with a short summary of the chapter, followed by "Intrigued? Then it'due south time for Marking to read Harry Potter."
  • GIFs. Lots and lots of GIF love.
  • "Die in a burn down." and variations, when referring to characters they doesn't like.
• Berserk Button:
  • The presence of Malfoy or Umbridge will nigh certainly piss them off. Peculiarly Umbridge.

    Mark: You worthless, authorization-obeying, mindless slice of shit. I cannot recollect a literary grapheme Always filling me with this much rage, contempt, and disgust AND GUYS I HAVE READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING Twilight Series. I volition seriously have the entire iv books of Bella whining over E'er reading this fucking BULLSHIT, SHITTY PERSON'Southward WORDS E'er Over again.

  • Ii downplayed ones with regard to Rowling's writing: her habit of recapping the previous story in each volume's first few chapters, and her habit of Harry finding things out by overhearing conversations.
• Bold Inflation: The opening to this page should give you an thought how Mark uses ALL CAPS to MAKE A Point. Also italics, regular bold text, and sometimes even ENLARGED TEXT. And random mashing of the keyboard for rage.

• Asymmetric Retribution:
  • Please stop posting whatever sort of spoilers or hints to the time to come in the comments or I will Voldemort your entire family and then create a basilisk to eat you alive.
  • During Chapter 3 of Order of the Phoenix, Marker inserts themselves into the story to express their excitement at seeing the render of both Lupin and Moody. Everyone finds them abrasive, and Moody eventually stuffs them into the Dursleys' oven and turns the heat up to maximum. they Gets Better.
• Early Installment Weirdness: Mark'due south reviews of the first few chapters of the first book were snarky and condescending. So they was won over past the affiliate where Hagrid shows up at the Hut-on-the-Rock and and then all was right with the world. Those kickoff few chapters were a holdover from the other series they had read and blogged nearly: Mark hated Twilight with a passion.
• Fanboy: They unabashedly adore the serial, faults and all. Although they are quick to bash any faults they find, but about of the time something else that'due south awesome distracts them.
• Hypocritical Humor: Chapter 4 of Order of the Phoenix has Mark semi-seriously telling Harry to, among other things, stop yelling at people, in all-caps.
• Horrible Judge of Character:
  • In one isolated incident, Mark gave this prediction nigh Umbridge in Affiliate xi of Order of the Phoenix.

    I don't feel she's evil anymore. Shoot me. I know nosotros're supposed to remember she'due south this forboding character who volition fuck everything upward, just come on. She cannot be that bad merely because she'south "traditional" in some sense. I mean, she volition probably be difficult, merely information technology'll be an interesting way to bring up some sort of conflict between Harry and her. Or mayhap Hermione. Simply yeah. I'm not ownership this whole "YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HATE HER IMMEDIATELY" thing.

  • You lot tin can approximate how they responded to the following two chapters.

    OH, Only FUCK EVERYTHING. Do you know how unbelievably embarrassed I am for that last review? Exercise you realize how foolish I feel at this very moment for what I wrote?

    Nosotros are not going to talk well-nigh Binns. We are not going to talk virtually Snape. We are non going to talk about Trelawney. We are non going to talk about how this chapter has suddenly turned into Harry Potter and the Bickering Bickerers.

    We are going to talk about Dolores FUCKING Umbridge.

    I'll just start off this way:

    FUCK. Yous.

• Killed Mid-Sentence: Poor Hedwig :'(
• Lighter and Softer: Marker Reads Twilight was Mark constantly ranting at the sheer stupidity of the characters, the plot devastation, the racism, etc., while this blog is Mark thoroughly enjoying reading a good series.
• Mad Libs Catchphrase: [Person] [verbs] all the [nouns]. (Hermione knows all the things, Umbridge should die in all the fires).
• Medium Sensation: A staple of their Harry Potter: A Play segments.

  HARRY: You wouldn't believe it. I just spied on a cloak-and-dagger conversation between Snape.

  [Dramatic music.]

  HARRY: they is TOTALLY planning on stealing the Wizard's Rock.

  [Music rises in pitch and tempo.]

  HARRY: I recall Quirrell put some anti-Dark Arts spell on the room, likewise!]

  HARRY: I don't know. Information technology's been post-obit me all twenty-four hours.

  HERMIONE: Wait, so...Quirrell is the just matter protecting the Wizard's Stone?

  RON: Dudes. That's like trying to protect a vault with tissue paper.

  NEVILLE: What? I thought it fit.

• "Not Making This Upward" Disclaimer: Sometimes shows up in their footnotes when quoting directly from the source material during their Harry Potter: A Play reviews.
• OOC Is Serious Business organisation: It'southward pretty clear how much Mark loves Hagrid: The first chapter hr'due south introduced, Mark already wants to marry him. Carry in heed that Mark by and large has no interest in marriage, every bit their Twilight reviews made clear.
• Perverse Sexual Animalism: Mark has declared Hagrid their leather daddy boyfriend.

• Script Fic: The Harry Potter: A Play segments, another holdover from their Twilight reviews.
• Something Completely Different: Mark has reviewed capacity from the point of view of characters, including Hedwig more than once, transcribed IM conversations they had with their friend Kasper while reading the chapter for the first time, and more.
• Take That!: Quite a few against Twilight.
  • These typically accept the form of Mark mocking Stephenie Meyer whenever they find a good example of Show, Don't Tell, the lack of such in Twilight being an early on complaint they had.
  • In the final affiliate of Deathly Hallows, Marker has Cedric go upward to Harry and co and talk about how he's "spent the terminal five years trapped within a book that glorifies corruption, shame, and mediocrity" following their death, a reference to the fact that him and Edward Cullen are portrayed past the aforementioned actor.
• You Are Not Prepare: YOU ARE Not PREPARED .

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Blog/MarkReadsHarryPotter

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